The Fluidity is Real

It goes without saying that I have learned a few things being Kaitlin’s husband.  Not only does she blow me away daily with her knowledge and love for teaching and educating, but as a person she has empowered me to be better, not just do better.  This is something our culture seems to gloss over all too often, being better.  So when a beautiful woman, or girl I guess at 20, who I had not so secretly crushing on since 9th grade showed interest in me AND truly empowered me from day one, I almost had no choice but to grab her coat tails and fly away.

Aside from learning to be present, I think the most important quality Kaitlin has shown to me is how to push rigidity aside and just flow.  To do all I can to understand that life is happening with us in mind and to trust our path through it.

  She has taught me that the way it’s always been, is not necessarily the way it should be, all without any judgement.  When she called me up while I working away and said she wanted to move to Montreal, I was shocked yet not surprised she wanted something different.  At this point in our lives we had just gotten married about 6 months before, we had already move back to our hometown of Campbell River BC, we had bought a house we couldn’t afford (meaning we paid minimum downpayment and needed renters in the upstairs).  We had already, it seemed, followed our societal path we were in some way expected to follow.  

When she explained to me how her cousin had a great opportunity for her at her indoor/outdoor beach volleyball ball centre I listened.  She explained she could have a chance to do kinesiology work with pro volleyball players, which turned to be very not true, but in our eyes all we needed was an explainable reason to be leaving our “ideal” life.  Essentially we needed to break this cycle and get out of town and see what happens.

Kaitlin needing it outright, me thinking it would be fun and if my wife was committed I better be too.  Best choice I ever made.

Our time in Montreal ended with a dream Kaitlin had to act and live in NYC.  Turns out there was a mid semester reduced rate acting course at the New York Film Academy which lined up perfect for her to attend when we returned from 2 months in Egypt and Europe.  Again, she wanted change, I wanted adventure and to live in the same place as my wife.  So just like that we moved to NYC.  Best choice I ever made.

NYC was amazing, but living there long term was deemed almost impossible for us Canadians, so after 8 months we had to leave.  We road tripped home which was a no brainer, then moved to Nanaimo with a sense of being somewhat lost.  Now it was my turn to change it up, I had an opportunity to get a fairly lucrative job in Fort McMurray AB, so I suggested we move there and save for our future.  I know my fluidity was not quite as exciting as Kaitlins, yet we moved and enjoyed the fruits of Fort McMurray to the fullest.

5 years after living in Fort Mac, we had begun our path back to BC where we planned to live for awhile when forest fires sparked up in early May, MAY!  This fire turned into a giant  which turned itself onto the city and burned 1000’s of homes and businesses.  If you didn’t hear about it go look it up, absolutely awe inspiring what nature can do.  Luckily no one was killed, the town was evacuated for about a month, in which time there was an explosion in our neighbourhood.  This explosion demolished our house.  Again, no one was injured, but as for our house and all our things….that’s a different story.

  Although it was not a chosen change, having our house blow up was another lesson in fluidity and recognizing that in order to succeed we NEED to be adaptable and less rigid.

This brings us to now.  We have been living in our motorhome for about a year and a half, which is the most fluid thing I can think of.  Just to keep us fluid, our adoption is finally going through!  6 years in the making, we couldn’t be more stoked, and in the universe’s true sense of humour and in order to continue to teach us, we are being given twins!  It’s amazing and I think without the last ten years of forcing ourselves to be adaptable, we would be having a much harder time with yet another sudden change of plans.

We now need a home, our home on wheels in too small for 4 and we are not sure if we will be able to live that life with adopted twins, at least not right away.  So here I sit in my parents house, waiting to travel to South Africa for 2 monthsto meet our new babies and I think back to all this “training”Kaitlin has put me through.  Oh how far I have come.

This months B.Y.O.P (Build Your Own Practice) is all about finding more fluidity in your practice, being adaptable and able to recognize that you are a unique being and deserve to practice in a way to support that uniqueness.  How you do one thins is how you do everything, therefore if we can be adaptable in our personal practice, we can begin to let life flow in every aspect.

Love you long time

-ben