Years ago, I had this idea, an idea I think I’m still trying to figure out. What if we aren’t going anywhere? What if where we are is exactly where we are meant to be?
The two of us grew up in a smallish industry town on Vancouver Island BC, Canada. We had the typical smallish industry town upbringings. Salmon fishing, camping trips, high school parties, friends, fights, laughter and the list goes on of the amazing experiences we had which shaped us into who we are today.
Somewhere along that line we got ideas. Ideas of how we want to move through this world, where we want to call home and what job we want to spend our time working at.
I left this town at the age 18, about as quickly as I could get away. All I knew is that I didn’t want to be there…in that place…a place, where in my eyes, dreams didn’t necessarily die, but they seemed to be put on hold or stuck into the back pocket of an old pair of jeans you don’t wear anymore.
It wouldn’t be until years later that I figured out that maybe this town wasn’t all bad. Maybe this town, or any location, wasn’t the reason I felt lost and unconnected. I came and went over the years and each time I looked outside myself to blame how I was on where I came from. I meant to some extent that’s true, past experience do play an integral role in who we are, but I seemed to let one small, but monumental aspect of life elude me…..I get to decide.
This absolutely amazing ability as a human being to choose our own destiny is something all but lost on many people my age. Of course, I am privileged enough to have stability, love and all my basic needs taken care of, but that hasn’t stopped me and others from pleading the hard done by card and throwing blame around. So why did I decide I was so hard done by? I still don’t know and may never.
I spent my twenties working towards some things which in all honesty just weren’t me. A job I like, didn’t love, is where most of my precious time was spent. Early mornings, shit bosses, cut up hands and even some frost bite lead me to a place where I can now see a little more of my own horizon.
I am lucky enough to have a partner to share this one and only like I have with. She blows me away constantly with her support, hard work and shear will to find the meaning to this chaotic practice we label life. Maybe the meaning is simple …have some damn fun.
We spent our time following the dreams our society had laid out for us. We got the jobs, we followed the dollar signs, bought the houses and struggled to find ourselves in our marriage. Not giving ourselves the benefit of the doubt that maybe, just freakin’ maybe, we knew more than we thought we did.
Last fall I quit my job as an electrician. I had been working ridiculous hours and squirreling away money for some vision of my future I had been told would be my golden years. Maybe golden, but maybe not too. Somewhere in there I decided that I didn’t want to bet some of my best years on the future. I want to make this life, my best life, each and every day I am here.
Although Kaitlin had been outright crushing her way through her dreams for the last five years, I was finally ready. I guess I got this happiness memo a little after she did. We have now been actively working to redesign our life to something a little more our style. We are making videos! I am doing something I have always loved, I excelled at and in all honesty, just makes me happy.
Our yoga business is thriving, we are launching a new website based on video content and building the In Balance Community. The best part is that it’s more fun I could have ever imagined having at “work”. And even though I am fumbling daily I couldn’t be happier about where things are heading…which ironically is the one thing I must continually let go of. Obviously, the thought of where I was headed 20 years ago lead me down some paths maybe not quite cut for me. So, this constant practice of knowing I have laid the ground work of who I am, means I can really let the Ben of today rip!
We have purchased ourselves an RV we now call home, and this feels like we are finally settling into a place we are meant to be. The freedom that comes with living our fullest dreams, needed the vocational freedom to go along with it.
This is our path, not your parent’s, not your friend’s and not yours, but I am willing to bet that as we travel along this journey together you will find something to inspire and help guide you towards your true north. I am finally ready to let the path lead me, rather than hack my way through the underbrush of this effed up journey called life.
…So where are you headed?