Sitting on a log. The view in front of me a glass calm lake. My Baby and partner are napping in the motorhome as I take a few moments to commune with nature. It’s so still and quiet here. The only sounds are the birds chirping. Not a boat or car or motorized anything to be heard. We are surrounded by a rugged forest that makes the air so pristine. The lake too is clear and clean, untouched by big cities and water monopolies.
I have been coming here since I was a little girl. This place is like my sacred time capsule. A safe haven to reconnect to myself and my true nature, a sincere privilege that tragically many may never know.
I am never more at peace, more joyful, and more creative than I am out here. And when I zoom out I wonder how we as a culture have lost our way home.
We built cemented cities and loud highways and bleach cleaned laminate offices and electronically wired homes that seperate us from our natural environment. This innate pulse that we all come from. The fact that we think we are in control, that we are above nature, and that we are going to find happiness in our concrete cages, is so far lost and disconnected from the sincere truth of fulfillment.
We are experiencing the volatility and suffering of our collective disillusion collapse. The mirror of our human suffering can be seen in every monocropped corn field, flourescent lit hospital room overlooking parking lots, tortured and emprisoned farm animal and inmates alike, stressed out yoga teachers, and treeless parks.
Every plastic wrapped processed chemically derived food item, broken down 6 month old blender from Walmart in the landfill and clear cut big boxed subdivision reveals more of what we have been sold.
Every depressed 12 year old on heavy medications, lonely elderly unable to afford proper care, drug addicted homeless person getting high to not feel the pain of their past, sexually abused women disempowered to use her voice, racially bullied indigenous or person of colour unsafe and unheard, and unsupported anxious mom of 3 kids that is working all day long who hasn’t slept uninterrupted in 10 years.
These are the projections of a disconnected culture from our Mother, our home, our interconnected nature.
We are not waking up to our animal ancestors extinct or our plastic and heavy metal laden toxic ridden oceans killing the reefs, the fish, the whales and our polluted rivers undrinkable, drying up. We are hurting eachother in a race to climb to some externalized idea of success and societal validation at the top. When you reach the view point all there is left to witness is a loved one fighting cancer, a child crying alone, a father drinking themselves to incoherence and a closed and numbed heart of a women terrified of dying without ever fully loving herself.
My heart breaks as a new mom thinking of all the Rosies out there that already don’t have a future because of corporate greed bought and supported by our incessant consuming. That all my daughters future children may not have a future at all. That because of our unwillingness to unite as dependent co-arising beings of this planet, just as important as the salmon and the orangutang, just as essential as the old growth forests and wetlands and glaciers and biome rich soils, we continue to innovate for a world of domination and billionaires rather than as a collective ecosystem fragile to the inherent inter-being we have always been.
So this leaves me to look long and curious at myself. My choices, my actions. My openness, my resilience and the space I create to love in it all. The only option I see now in my work is to live it in alignment with a more kinderhearted permaculture inspired minimalists possession but maximilized connection reaching my hand and heart and voice out to the world as a fellow inter- being.
I am you. You are me and we are the trees clear cut and George Floyd and the police officer that killed him and the polar bears drowning.
We must wake up to our interconnectedness first. Hold sacred this life for all beings. Feel deeply the pain of our collective and individual unfolding and use it as fuel for the heart to take kind action in the unique way we are each called.
So I sit here on my log. Tears streak down my face at my complicit contribution to our abused planet, and I ask for forgiveness for all the ways I was unawake and unaware of my privilege and misguided programming. I acknowledge my human errors that may have contributed to suffering of other beings. I allow these tears to mirage my view just for a few moments, a pain stained welcoming of what I fear most.
And then I drop down into my heart. I wipe my eyes and clear my gaze on this beautiful lake that is still here and so worth protecting. And I open myself up to what I can contribute from here and now, for our world that is waking up.
I welcome this wholistic resonance of wilderness aligning my vibration with infinite possibilities and I begin to envision a culture harmonious; our inner loving nature and outer abundant Mother Nature.
I allow the fear I feel for all the children and my Rosie alike, emblazon and embolden a courage inside me to lead with my heart, to re-imagine a healthy and balanced ecosystem where all people and beings exist together. Where our passion and focus is united by the love we hold beyond any mistake, unresolved wound or inconsiderate slight.
May we come home to our true nature both in nature and in our hearts.
May we feel our pain fully so to know the depth of our love and the truth of our dharma.
May we awaken to the power of our kindness, our ability to change and grow, and our innate wisdom in peace.
I know who I am
I know what I am
I know how I serve
I am here
I am now
I am we.